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COLUMN: Why do cottagers torture themselves in highway traffic?

In this week's Everything King, Wendy says cottagers are a rare breed, but she wonders if all the effort is worth it
2019-05-20 Hwy 400 traffic SG
Highway 400 southbound traffic moves slowly through Barrie. | BarrieToday files

As we enter into the waning days of summer, there’s a question I’ve always wondered about: Cottagers, why do you do it?

I mean, I can certainly understand if you are an outdoors enthusiast and would want to go north and see the sites. I also can make a case for enjoying beautiful waterways and sunsets. Maybe, that's even more of a draw if you live in a concrete jungle.

However, I marvel at a cottager’s patience and endurance for facing that long, tedious weekend drive weekly or even bi-weekly.

Every single time I see that line of traffic snaking slowly and dangerously anywhere from Toronto up through Barrie and Orillia and farther north, I cringe.

I worry for you. Do you have enough gas? Do you have snacks?

More importantly, do you have Depends in case the traffic is halted?

Literally, you are taking your life in your hands. I mean, technically we all are every time we get behind the wheel, but those long-weekend hauls seem especially precarious.

This is going to sound sexist, but I’m going to go out on a limb and suggest I am probably somewhat accurate. It's most likely the woman of the family who is pre-planning any adventure.

In my life, I have seen many women washing and folding the clothes, doing the packing, prepping the food and planning the route.

I’m also sure there are a lot of guys who assist, especially with the loading of the vehicle, readying the boats or bicycles, and doing the barbecuing when at the destination.

But, I still have a hunch most of the work lands in the woman’s lap.

Families take everything but the kitchen sink to their rustic cottage. (Is this so it's more like home?)

Vehicles are loaded up with everything from food and drinks to bedding, towels, cleaning supplies, cooking equipment and pets.

Then there’s all the devices and gadgets needed to keep everyone entertained. Don’t forget a hundred cords and chargers.

People may say they want to be off the grid, but do they really? A day without the internet and I fear people will be breaking out in hives and it will have nothing to do with poison ivy.

So, you have to bring your whole house with you to the second location and then be ready for all the unknowns.

What if you need medicines, an Epi Pen, bandages or a defibrillator?

All the fresh berries or forest mushrooms could lead to a desperate need for Immodium.

And what if there’s a bug sting, snake bite or bear attack?

The thought of everything that could go wrong boggles my mind.

Maybe you have a swanky cottage that's stocked year-round and you don’t have to drag a lot of supplies with you every trip.

Still, though, it's just a second property requiring maintenance, upkeep, refreshing and landscaping.

I can’t keep up with one small condo, so the thought of cleaning two properties gives me heart palpitations.

Then you have to clear everything out again along with any left over refuse.

Bottom line, I just don’t understand how all that extra work and travelling is worth it, especially if it is like for a couple of days at a time.

I have truly always wondered what the attraction is.

To each their own, of course.

To be honest, I could definitely appreciate a hot dog cooked over a burning fire and a toasted marshmallow.

I’m sure I am missing out on a million silent starry nights or early morning sunrises with loons welcoming the day.

No doubt the summer has given you priceless family memories. So as you head north in the next few weeks to shut down the cottages for another year, I shall just admire your work ethic and simply shut up.


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About the Author: Wendy King

Wendy King writes about all kinds of things from nutrition to the job search from cats to clowns — anything and everything — from the ridiculous to the sublime. Watch for Wendy's column weekly.
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