Randy Davis is a self-proclaimed “accidental activist."
The 55-year-old Barrie man gave himself that title about four years ago after deciding to publicly share his story about living with HIV.
Davis, who was diagnosed with HIV in 2015, told BarrieToday he made the decision to speak up after watching a local newscast promoting the 2018 AIDS and noticing every individual being interviewed had their faces blurred and voices changed.
“I thought wow. We are talking about an AIDS walk, raising money to fight against stigma and there wasn’t a single individual… that was OK with their face being shown. I thought I needed to change that,” he says.
Davis told his husband he was ready to start talking about his own experience living with HIV.
“I contacted those friends and family I hadn’t already disclosed to and connected with the Gilbert Centre and signed up to do the AIDS walk that year," he adds.
From there, Davis began sharing his story publicly, through media interviews and public speaking engagements, and eventually joined the team at The Gilbert Centre, where his own experience often allows him to connect more deeply with the individuals he works with.
Unexpected news
Despite an HIV diagnosis no longer being “a death sentence,” Davis understands how devastating hearing those words can be at first, adding at the time of his own diagnosis, he had been living publicly as a cis-gendered gay man in Ottawa since he was 38.
“I had been going fairly frequently to get tested just as a single, gay man who was very happily sexually active. It was the responsible thing to do,” he says.
Prior to getting diagnosed with HIV, he had been prone to pneumonia and had even been hospitalized in 2012 with double-lung pneumonia.
“So when I started not feeling well again, both myself and my doctor thought it was just my pneumonia creeping up again," he says.
After a long course of antibiotics and no improvement, Davis told BarrieToday he knew in the back of his mind there was something more going on.
“I had been scheduled for my regular sexual health test about a month after this... and decided to moved it up a bit and make sure everything was tickety boo. That’s when I got the news that I was HIV-positive — through a rapid test just like the ones I perform on folks here now,” he says, referring to his role as a gay men’s sexual health co-ordinator at The Gilbert Centre.
“I got the news and the public health nurse looked at me and said, ‘You weren’t expecting that were you?’. She asked if I was OK and I lied and said yes.”
Davis admits he was in shock and began what would normally have been the 10-minute walk home from the clinic. But on that blustery, cold and miserable Thursday night in February, Davis found himself taking a different route.
“I remember walking home and taking a longer path… taking the overpass over the Queensway because I had all of these thoughts: I have HIV; I am going to be alone the rest of my life; no one is ever going to love me again. I had this overwhelming sense of shame and I thought about ending my life on that walk home.”
Too much to live for
After pushing those feelings aside, Davis says he eventually made his way back to his apartment where the first thing he saw when he opened the door were pictures of his two daughters, He quickly knew he had too much to live for and too many good things going on in his life to end it.
“I didn’t want to miss out on the opportunity of my daughters' graduations, or if they decided to get married one day or have children. I want to be around to enjoy those,” he says.
Davis got on the phone and connected with care as soon as possible.
“I knew enough about HIV that I knew it wasn’t a death sentence, although even knowing that logically in my head, the first thought that crossed my mind when I heard I was HIV positive was that my life was over," he says. "That’s 40-plus years of stigma because that’s been the narrative around HIV for so long."
He says he feels very fortunate to have been able to get connected with care right away.
“A lot of folks living with HIV, especially those who are more marginalized — a person of colour, or Indigenous, trans and all these other factors that come into play — make it difficult for people in those communities to feel safe in talking about the fact they’re living with HIV," Davis says.
One pill a day
Because he was able to get the care he needed quickly, Davis told BarrieToday he has an undetectable viral load, which means the amount of virus is so low in his system that traditional lab work does not even pick it up.
“I was diagnosed so soon after becoming infected, fortunately, and I got on my medication very quickly… so it goes to show how effective medication can be if we get folks on it quickly and if we get folks tested (because) there are a large number of folks living with HIV that don’t know it.”
Treating his HIV is simpler than treating diabetes, he says.
“I take one pill a day… and there are all kinds of things happening now that makes treating HIV easier and gives folks options. I take more vitamins a day than I do HIV medications.”
Davis wants people to see that although he is living with HIV, he is healthier now than he has ever been.
“That’s not because of HIV, it’s in spite of it,” he says. “It’s important that those of us who have the privilege to be comfortable with that — and who have the support of family and friend that allows (us) to speak as publicly as I do — it’s almost as if I feel this obligation to share my story (because) I understand there are some for whom it’s not safe to do that.”
Cooking up awareness
Another way Davis is hoping to bring awareness to living with HIV is by participating in this year’s June’s HIV+ Eatery, an event in Toronto put on by Casey House where he will be one of many HIV-positive chefs serving guests for a three-night dining experience beginning June 14.
“I feel incredibly humbled and fortunate to be part of it. When it first started, I knew I wanted to be there. I didn’t care how much tickets were, I just wanted to be there,” he says. “It’s all about smashing the stigma.
"Fifty-three per cent of Canadians polled will not eat a meal prepared by someone with HIV for fear of contracting the virus, which is just absolute nonsense,” Davis adds. “I do think stigma is still alive and well, but stigma in my definition is a combination of ignorance and fear.
"One of the things I love about this event is the ability, after the meal has been served, to actually socialize with patrons and talk to folks about our stories and show them one of the faces of HIV.”
To learn more about Davis and his journey with HIV check out his social-media channels:
Twitter: https://mobile.twitter.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/
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