New year, new me?
Nah, not this time.
Every Jan. 1 for as long as I can remember, I have set myself some pretty “exceptional goals," and then when I don’t succeed, end up being extremely hard on myself.
Whether it’s a goal of getting to the gym or yoga studio more often, planning to “plan better” or simply to be more organized, like so many people I know within a few weeks, those “resolutions” are littered on the ground and collecting dust just like the “it toy” my kid insisted they absolutely needed this year for Christmas.
So, this January, instead of setting these annual resolutions or expectations, I made only one. To simply be OK with the fact that whatever happens, happens.
Do I still hope to get back to the yoga studio? Sure, but given certain circumstances I need to be OK with the fact that that very likely won’t be doable for many months.
Do I wish I was like those “other moms” who actually enjoy meal prepping and cooking? Sometimes. But when push comes to shove, those are just not traits I have ever had the pleasure of acquiring. And while I applaud and appreciate those traits, I refuse to guilt myself into believing that I am “less than” because I don’t follow the latest fitness or food trends.
As I lean into the middle part of my “early 40s," I have had to let go of my lifelong desire to fit in.
I am learning to appreciate the simpleness that is coming along with learning to say ‘no’ to things — or people — if it simply doesn’t work for me.
With that is coming a need to also ease up on my desire to be a people pleaser — and discovering that it’s OK to do so without having to explain the reasons why.
Why? Because. Full stop.
If the last nearly three years have taught me anything, it’s that we need to do the things that make us happy ... or as Marie Kondo says, "bring us joy."
Whether it's binge watching the latest season of Ginny and Georgia or Peaky Blinders, spending a weekend buried in a book, or taking part in your favourite activity, I have begun to realize the importance of spending our time not setting resolutions to do the things we think we should be doing.
Rather, it's time to focus our energy on the things that we want to be doing.
Resolutions be damned!
Nikki Cole is a staff reporter at BarrieToday who has lost interest in New Year's resolutions.
