In December 2016, Carlayne Gilbertson was enjoying a family vacation in Florida with her husband Mike and their three younger children, when their lives changed forever. Three days before Christmas, Mike had a sudden heart attack and died on the way to the hospital. Instead of opening presents on Christmas Eve, Carlayne was making arrangements for her husband’s body inside a funeral home in Florida. Carlayne says, “There are no words to express the devastation, shock, and trauma that we experienced, because devastation is not a strong enough word to describe it. When the shock wears off, you are left to deal with the damages which run deep and can change everything in your life.”
Carlayne, a personal development coach and an advocate for therapy knew that she needed help for herself and her children, but she didn’t know where to turn. A family she knew from her son’s hockey team had recently lost their eldest son. They had taken their younger son to Seasons Centre for Grieving Children in Barrie and the mother talked about it being a wonderful experience. Within six weeks of her husband’s passing, Carlayne was at Seasons Centre’s door. Her therapist convinced her that emotionally losing a living parent is when children don’t do well. She says, “I took my 9-year-old daughter. And at the time, I thought nobody understands our grief. I had walls up, but over time, those walls came down.”
Seasons Centre for Grieving Children
The Seasons Centre for Grieving Children is a place where children who have lost a loved one are surrounded by others who share similar experiences of grief and loss. Since 1995, Seasons Centre has been providing peer-to-peer support for children between the ages of 5 and 24 who are grieving the death of their special person in a safe, compassionate, and comforting environment. Children learn coping skills to understand their grief and emotions.
Lisa Spinks is the Development Director at the Seasons Centre for Grieving Children. Lisa says, “Grief is a deeply personal journey, and children are often the forgotten mourners. Our programs are developed to provide age-appropriate, peer-supported environments that can help a child process their emotions.” Two groups where Seasons Centre is seeing growth due to the mental health crisis is Survivors of Suicide and Substance Use Related Deaths.
You’re not alone
Grief, especially for children, can feel isolating. It’s an emotional maze and no two paths are the same. But at Seasons Centre, children don’t have to go through it alone. The peer support groups create a safe space where children can speak openly about their emotions, share their stories, and most importantly, know that they aren’t the only ones navigating this extremely difficult journey.
One in fourteen children in Canada will experience the death of a loved one by the time they turn 18. That’s about 1 child in every 2 classrooms. Lisa says, “At Seasons Centre children don’t feel so alone in their grief, because they can talk with other kids who have gone through similar experiences.”
Carlayne says, “What we find is that as soon as we open up and say I’m hurting, someone else says, ‘Me Too.’ When you know that you’re not alone, you feel accepted.” The progress Carlayne was seeing in her children confirmed that her children would be okay again. As a parent, it helped Carlayne as well. She says, “If I was emotionally present and provided for them, they could move forward and not just survive but thrive despite their loss.”
Comfort and trust
In the peer support groups, children are encouraged to express their feelings whether it’s sharing conversation in a circle or working out their grief in the volcano room, games room, art room, or ball pit. Lisa says, “It’s a unique, one-to-one model where a child is with a buddy in a peer setting. They’re able to connect with their peers but also have the comfort of a buddy who is a trained volunteer who has also experienced some type of loss.”
Being around others who have experienced the loss of a loved one makes a world of difference. They don’t have to explain why some days are harder than others or why a memory suddenly triggers tears. Lisa says, “The children talk about their loved ones who have passed away and they bond in a very safe place.”
Wall of Treasures
The children also learn that healing doesn’t mean forgetting their special person who is no longer with them; it means learning how to live with their memory in a way that allows them to move forward.
Seasons Centre has a wall of photos of the children’s loved ones that it calls their Wall of Treasures. Lisa says, “When families come into the building, they can see their loved one and the loved ones of their friends in the peer program. It’s a place to memorialize them.” They’re encouraged to talk about their loved ones in the peer support group.
Connecting with Seasons Centre
During the school year, Seasons Centre runs Peer Support groups from September to June. Individual groups meet bi-weekly and there are different sessions meeting each evening through the week. Lisa says, “During the summer, our day programs offer one-on-one and peer support. Typically, a participant will spend an average of 18 months with the peer support group. But they can stay as long as they need to while they’re continuing to work out their grief.”
Sometimes children return to the program if they feel triggered by certain events in their lives. Lisa stresses, “We’re there for a child’s grief journey through their life. They can come back anytime, and all the programs are free of charge.”
Community support
Seasons Centre would not be able to offer their free support programs and services to grieving children and their parents without the support from the community. Lisa says, “Because we do not receive government funding, we always need support, and the community of Barrie has been very kind. Over the past 30 years, we’ve relied on their support every day and continue to need to do so, so we can be there for the kids when they need us most.” To support Seasons Centre for Grieving Children, visit: https://grievingchildren.com/supporting-us/
Carlayne Gilbertson is very passionate about Seasons Centre. She serves on the Board, and she has been running a charity golf tournament in her husband Mike’s name for the past 5 years. To date, Carlayne, her family and friends have raised more than $40,000 for Seasons Centre for Grieving Children.
Creating brighter futures
At Seasons Centre for Grieving Children, the journey through loss is never walked alone. The support they offer goes beyond just a safe space; it’s a lifeline of hope, connection, and healing. Seasons Centre plays a crucial role in the lives of children who have suffered loss by helping them heal, grow, and find light even in the darkest moments. The long-term impact on a child who receives grief support helps create brighter futures.
For more information contact Seasons Centre for Grieving Children at (705) 721-5437 and visit their website.
This Spotlight article was generously donated by Adams Funeral Home to Seasons Centre for Grieving Children